Surprise Lesson In Living In The Present.

Let’s talk about life currently and being in the moment, today.

Hello, wonderful people of the Internet! (A rather paltry attempt at being jovial and chummy, I do sincerely apologize.)

I will begin talking (Or typing, technically.) today as I seem to do always, with an explanation.About an hour back, I finished up the post detailing the first day of my amazing European vacation last month, the first in a daily narration of the entire fifteen-day vacation, with pictures and everything.(Lots of  pictures of the Eiffel Tower, no less, yes, day one was Paris.)

Just as I was about to click on Publish, I decided to address the niggling feeling eating away the back of my head since I had begun sorting through the pictures to add to the post.The feeling being, I felt a little criminal and a lot ridiculous for making 15 posts about a month old vacation when there’s so much happening right absolute now. (Not this very moment but you get my drift, right?)Now, what are these many things, you ask? Among many things, these include but are not limited to, finally deciding on a college, going to said college, maybe moving out to live in a hostel/dorm for the first time in my life, maybe moving to a city I’ve never been to, and meeting a gazillion new people, all by the end of this month.(That is a lot of commas.Thank you, English Grammar for being so simple and sorted.) Which, is actually only 11 days away. (Since it’s nearly the 20th in  speck I call home in this world.)Which in turn, increases the magnitude of all the emotions I’m feeling and dealing with.

And when I feel a lot of emotions I write on here.I bring them out.I involve every single person reading this in the silly woes of a teenaged girl and I keep you in the loop with what is up with me and what I am up to.Which is what I decided to do, this time too.So, I am putting the entire Europe vacation diary on hold and I’ll talk about what’s current and new and what’s happening now and how I’m feeling about it.So, this is your warning, heads up, whatever you’d like to call it. Emotions and changes are going to be sold by the penny next post on.Brace yourself.

So, what am I up to now? To be perfectly honest, it’s a lot of things that are embellished ways to say “nothing huge”. My phone hasn’t been working for the past week.When you have holidays and nothing to do, that isn’t the best of situations.I have to admit though,It hasn’t been all bad because of that.I’ve had moments where I’ve been glad I didn’t have my phone because I’m more efficient, fast or just simply had more attention to pay(Attention is something you learn to appreciate more than most people if you’re me) to other things.Meanwhile, I’m also reading the Song Of Ice And Fire series, by G.R.R. Martin (If you have or are too, please comment below.I loooooove talking about it.)I’m also watching Game Of Thrones(Again, If you are watching let’s talk) alongside as I finish each book.(Yes, I know the entire world has seen it, I  respected the fact that it’s an adult show, okay?) I’m doing some college-related shopping, packing, contemplating(A veiled way to say paranoidly overthinking) and mentally prepping for majorly three things.

One. The changes that are soon coming in my life.I have a track record of not being the best at dealing with change while it’s happening.I almost avoid thinking about it so this time I have decided to be a ‘grown-up’ about it and will deal with it while it happens instead of bottling it all up till I have an explosive meltdown.

Two.A new setup.I understand school as a construct, I’ve been involved with it for 14 years.College is something I have a rather as I believe, misconstrued image of, attributed to books and movies and I do and do not at the same time know what to expect.I’ve to learn and adapt and grow and I’m gearing up to do it in the best way possible.

Three and most importantly, socialising. As a rather antisocial and a pretty socially inept person this is the one that is the most daunting for me.But I’m also contradictorily, a  person who enjoys talking to people and getting to know them and is excited by the prospect of making all the lifelong friends I am going to make.So me, a shy extrovert needs the preparation to open up to people and get ready to do what humans are notorious for: socialise.

Apart from that, I’ve basically been utterly and undeniably bored.And that’s it, folks, it’s what I’ve been up to and that’s what you can expect from me now on.Cheers and see you later!

THIS POST’S QUESTION : What is something you’ve done recently that you’re proud of ? Comment below with what you think about it,I’d love to hear from you!

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Lessons I’ve Learnt From Disney.

Let’s talk about the things I’ve learnt from Disney today.

For me, a major part of my childhood was Disney movies. I grew up watching them, getting attached to them, loving them and learning from them. I’ve learnt many life lessons from these animated, seemingly children’s movies that I, as an almost adult, still love a lot. So, without further ado, here are lessons I’ve learnt from 7 of Disney’s animated movies. I hope, it goes without saying that if you haven’t watched the movie, you may find the below to be full of spoilers.  Here, I’m excluding the Pixar movies as they can quite easily comprise a post of their own. Here we go.

1. Alice In Wonderland

   Alice In Wonderland, a movie I watched as a 5-6-year old and absolutely loved due to the fact that it shows you, quite literally ,a wonderland. At that young age, seeing Alice interact with everyone from the White Rabbit to the Mad Hatter I learnt that everyone was equal and you didn’t need to see or talk to anyone differently just because they were not what most people would call ‘usual’ or ‘normal’. It was a great lesson in equality and not discriminating that has always stuck with me.                                                                      

2. Beauty And The Beast

   Beauty And The Beast, my favourite musical and most awaited live action Disney movie currently was also my absolute favourite Disney animated movie for the longest time. I loved Belle, different from other girls in her village, a reader like me,(I talked about this in my previous post, click here to read that) and the fact that in the Beast and Belle’s love story, looks never mattered. It was a great message in loving the person and going beyond how they look to understand who they really are to learn as a child. This movie also holds a special place in my heart for it has one of my most favourite Disney soundtracks probably ever.                         

3. The Lion King

   The Lion King is a movie associated with so much nostalgia and so many memories as I first saw it with a group of my childhood best friends, when we were children, all huddled around a laptop. The movie,which shows Simba’s journey to being king of the jungle is, in my opinion, really a journey for everyone who watches it. It taught me to believe in myself and my beliefs and to hold on to them no matter what. Simba learns it the hard way and  I learnt it with him.                                 

4. Mulan

   Mulan was a movie way ahead of its times. It was a movie set in Ancient China, with an exceptionally headstrong girl who was ready to go to any costs to defend her family and country and fight in the war, even though girls aren’t really allowed to. She becomes a boy and takes her father’s place in the war as he is quite elderly without batting an eyelid. It taught girls everywhere, like it taught me, to be strong and independent and never consider themselves weak. It truly is one of the most underappreciated Disney movies.            

5. Tangled

   Tangled was the movie that crashed Beauty And The Beast’s favourite animation movie spot and took it instead. A rather morose original tale brightened up with lanterns, literally, and the most believable teenager princess. She wants to see the world, she hits guys in the face with a frying pan and she simply yearns to understand who she is and what she’s destined for. Rapunzel was a lesson in optimism as in spite of being trapped in a tower all her life, she has hobbies , passions and dreams and is as lively as you can get. Her inner goodness is not influenced by Mother Gothel’s negative influence either. Add to that Flynn Rider’s transformation and it makes for an almost admirably inspiring movie.                             

6. Frozen

   Frozen took Mulan’s feminist message and conveyed it its own way. It showed me that you don’t need a man to rescue you and that true love can exist between sisters just as much as it can exist between lovers. It also taught me to not take anybody at face value, to not be so naïve, as Anna takes Hans and that true love doesn’t always happen in a day. It’s important to get to know a person before you simply consider them as your soul mate, get engaged and decide to marry them all in the matter of a day. Oh, Anna.

   

7. Zootopia

   Zootopia, Disney’s most recent animation venture was a wonderfully adorable movie. It taught me to believe in my dreams no matter what anyone says, to not conform to stereotypes,to never let who I was born as define me, to never consider anyone inferior as Judy, Nick and Ms. Bellwether (being a wolf in sheep’s clothing, amazingly) taught me. It’s a heart-warming movie and a must watch if you haven’t. (Take this a little request/ task.Let me know how you find it later.)

   THIS POST’S QUESTION: What is your favourite Disney movie? Comment below with what you think about it, I’d love to hear from you!

The Last Goodbye.

Lets talk about loss today.

Today, I diverge from my usual optimistic and happy demeanour to talk about something else: Loss. Losing a loved one. Death. Today, I’ll be saying many things I’ve never ever put together before or said and it will be more morose that you expect me to be. These days, there is a lot of negativity in the world, lots of terrible things happening to good people and I hope that if they ever read my words, they find in it what they need most right now. Hope. I’m a firm believer of  the saying, “Hope is the only thing stronger than fear” and that’s what I hope to offer. This will be different than my usual style of writing, because this time I’m writing to make a difference. This is something I feel I must write, in the hope that they do a little bit in the lives of those who’ve lost everything.

For me, death was a foreign concept for a major part of my life. I’d hear about people dying, read about horrible killings in the papers but I’d always, due to my great luck, assumed its something that happened , over there, far away from me. Call it my naiveness ,luck or just a normal thing, that’s the way it was. That is, until it happened to me.

I celebrated my 13th birthday with a few of my close friends, a small party during the exams. I just turned into a teenager and the world was my stage. My paternal grandfather also came to visit, like he did every birthday. He even got me a gift on his own which was new and something he usually didn’t do, he would normally get us money to buy whatever we wanted. It was a magazine that was really difficult to find and one of my favourites, that along with my favourite pen. I loved it, hugged him and thanked him. Usually, he stayed for a few days when he came even if he didn’t plan to, we’d make him, because we liked being with him a lot. But this time, he left the next day itself, he had some work to do and I let him go due to that. The day after, that is, two days after my birthday, my grandfather, my grandpa was shot during a road mugging .In broad daylight. And he, my favourite person to argue with, the person I talked to about languages, the person I taught new things like phones was gone. Just like that.

When I found out, that evening, I was suddenly faced with something I had never faced before : loss. And it was sudden and totally out of the blue. I felt like I was in a bad dream and it wasn’t ending. I knew I was in pain, I was breaking but what caused the cracks to spread and take over ,is the pain of your loved ones around you, who are completely destroyed. The way I saw my parents that night will always haunt me. It still does. It was what, magnified my pain manifold, not the loss of the person but the pain of the living.

That is when I learnt many lessons. One, that different people have different reactions to loss. Some choose to not talk about it and try to act like it didn’t happen, for their sanity and to try to live the life as they know it. I’m one of those people. I ,for all the talking I do, do not talk about my loss. How it hurts. The memories. I just shut off entirely. There are others, like my mother, who talk about all these things. Who truly learn to live with it, or so it seems. Of course it hurts them, but they acknowledge the pain and accept it, which is braver than I can imagine to be.

I also realised that what people say about death is mostly false. No, the person does not continue to live in your heart or anything similar that romanticises the loss of a person. You feel like they’re just across a door or simply a phone call away, but truly they are just gone. Poof. Let me use a absurd metaphor for this. Imagine if your favourite book was suddenly deleted from the world. All copies just vanish and its gone. You can never touch it again, read it again. You can read the quotes you have written down, the words you remember from it and draw what you remember of the cover but, you can never ever read the whole book together ever again. What you do realise is though, that even if you  feel like it hampers you functioning and you can’t imagine existing now , you cherish the fact that you read it ,you  value the memories you have with it and what all it had taught you. You wouldn’t give that time away for anything nor would you wish you never read it. Slowly, as time passes ,you begin to put your own pages back together. You order them, paste them together. You put yourself back together although it takes a while and most importantly, you must remember you can never be the same again. It’s a sign that it mattered, that it took away a piece of you. But the important thing to remember here is ,that even though you aren’t the same now, you’re a you you never were and you’re just as great. You can still spread happiness and be happy, you can learn to live with it and eventually you’ll make peace with it. And even though its now gone, you will always love it from the bottom of your heart.

That’s what you’re allowed to do. The person may not exist anymore but you can still continue to love them and value them. And we the world, the people that share a planet, value the victims of the horrible things happening in the world these days, the way I’ll always value my grandfather.

Learning From Change.

Lets talk about my first day in school(twice).

I have changed schools twice during my total schooling. Once, in 9th grade, again in 11th  grade, because I moved. These two changes, I feel have greatly defined me as a person and have been great learning experiences. The first time around, it was mostly difficult because I’d left a school I’d been in for nearly a decade and was stepping out of my comfort zone. I’d love to be able to tell you that I fit in immediately and I felt like I had been there forever and it was exactly like the movies but the truth this, that was definitely not the case.

The first day of school,I only spoke with the other new girl, because of the fact that we were both new and had that binding us together. It felt like being in some completely foreign place, someone else’s school , certainly not mine. Slowly, as the days passed I found myself getting more and more attached to my new school.It was slow and gradual and certainly taught me a lot. The two major  things I learnt, which are, in my humble opinion,two great life lessons were :-

• Say Hello first.

Here’s the thing. I was a generally shy person. I am quite an extrovert, but only if you know me. For me, saying hello first was nightmarish. I could be wishing to speak with you but wouldn’t because of the fact that I’m simply too shy to approach you first. This, was the reason my first few days in a new school were difficult. Then, one day, I decided to simply overcome my shyness and say hi first. And that is the story of how I’ve met some o my greatest friends. I learnt my lesson which was :Do not wait for someone else to talk to you first, because, chances are, they’re waiting for you to do the same.

• Do not change who you are for anyone or anything.

As someone, in a new school, looking to gain friends and of course, popularity, I will admit to having attempted to at least alter the way I am for the purpose of finding friends and to get people to notice me. It worked a bit, I had a group of people to call friends per se, but I really wasn’t friends with them. Once I let go of my inhibitions and decided that I simply cannot be a mere act anymore, I felt happier. I soon found people who’ll love me for exactly who I was and not who I presented myself to be, and they are now the best people I know.

With these two things learnt and many more over the two wonderful years at that school, I am proud to say, I was heartbroken to leave it. I was so attached and felt like I belonged to this place and couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. I cried,I was saddened, yet I was happy with where I’d come over the two years, how much the school had given me and how much I’d grown in character.

My second school, is a completely different story altogether because armed with experience and my lessons, it was much  much easier. I found friends easily and could strike the balance at where I was going to be for the two years here. It went great and has been my best example of applying what you learn in life and I’m glad I got to at such a young age. I also have the added benefit of simply getting to know so many people, places and things and having friends all around. It feels like a great blessing in disguise, now and a great fortune.